Amazon’s New Headquarters – SNL
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Amazon’s New Headquarters – SNL


>>>ALEXA, ARE WE READY FOR THE
PRESENTATIONS?>>YES, SIR, WE’RE DOWN TO 20
CITIES FOR OUR NEW HEADQUARTERS. ALEXA, ISN’T THIS EXCITING.
>>YES, IT IS EXCITING.>>AND JUST TO MAKE SURE, WHO IS
THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD?>>THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD
IS JEFF BEZUS.>>OKAY, CLOSE ENOUGH, LET’S
BEGIN.>>I’M SENDING IN THE DELEGATION
FROM BOSTON.>>HEY THERE.
>>HOW YOU DOING, CHIEF?>>THANK YOU FOR HAVING US HERE,
MR. BEZOS. MY NAME IS JEANINE FLANNIGAN.
>>AND I’M TOMMY GALECKI.>>AND WE’RE FROM BOSTON’S
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE. WE’D LIKE TO PRESENT YOU WITH A
POUND OF DUNKIN DONUTS COFFEE. DARK ROAST.
>>YEAH, THE GOOD STUFF.>>AND TWO TICKETS TO HISTORIC
FENWAY PARK.>>UPPER LEVEL.
I MEAN WE’RE NOT MILLIONAIRES.>>LOOK, MR. BEZOS, BOSTON IS
THE BEST.>>THE BEST!
>>OKAY, KID? DON’T TAKE IT FROM US.
TAKE IF FROM OSCAR WINNING ACTOR, MR. CASEY AFFLECK.
>>HEY. HOW YOU DOIN’?
>>CASEY WAS SO EXCITED WHEN HE HEARD BOSTON WAS AN AMAZON
HEADQUARTERS FINALIST.>>YEAH.
THIS IS GREAT, I GUESS.>>CASEY.
YOU GREW UP IN BOSTON. WOULDN’T AMAZON LOVE IT THERE?
>>OH YEAH. I DON’T KNOW.
I LIVE IN LA NOW. MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT YOUR OFFICE
>>CASEY AFFLECK. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN
US?>>I LIKE THEM.
THEY’RE PASSIONATE. WHO’S NEXT?
>>SEND IN THE DELEGATION FROM ATLANTA!
>>HEY. HEY.
HEY. WHAT’S GOOD, PARTNER?
Y’ALL NEED TO COME DOWN TO THE A MAN?
LET’S DO THAT THING! YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?
MY NAME’S REVEREND JEREMIAH GREEN.
AND I’M HERE ON BEHALF OF THE MAYOR’S OFFICE.
>>AND I’M CAMILLE LOWE FROM ATLANTA’S OFFICE OF BUSINESS
DEVELOPMENT.>>AND I’M CHEF PAULA DEAN,
Y’ALL! AND I’M GONNA BE CAREFUL WHAT I
SAY.>>LOOK HERE, MAN.
ATLANTA’S MADE FOR BUSINESS, OKAY?
OUR AIRPORT IS ONLY 20 MINUTES AWAY FROM DOWNTOWN.
>>TWO HOURS, WITH TRAFFIC.>>WE HAD THE OLYMPICS THERE
BACK IN 1996.>>THE ONE WITH THE BOMB.
>>AND YOU KNOW ATLANTA HAS THESE WONDERFUL PLACES WHERE
PEOPLE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE COME TOGETHER.
>>IT’S CALLED THE WAFFLE HOUSE.>>YEAH WE READY.
SO TODAY, WE PRESENT YOU SOME SYMBOLS OF OUR CITY, A CAN OF
COCA-COLA AND A SANDWICH FROM CHICK FIL-A.
>>AND I BROUGHT MY DELICIOUS SIGNATURE THREE BUTTER PUDDING,
Y’ALL! IT’S THE DISH THE AMERICAN HEART
ASSOCIATION RATED “DON’T!”>>AND TO SHOW YOU MAN HOW MUCH
WE LOVE AMAZON, WE GIVING YOU AN ATLANTA T- SHIRT DELIVERED BY AN
AMAZON DRONE. I DON’T TRUST THAT THING.
>>HELL NO. THAT’S THE POLICE.
LET’S GET OUTTA HERE!>>WE’LL BE IN TOUCH.
OKAY, WHO’S NEXT?>>SEND IN THE DELEGATION FROM
NEWARK.>>HELLO, MR. BEZOS!
MY NAME IS CORY BOOKER, AND I COULD NOT BE MORE PROUD OF
NEWARK. AFTER CITY ON THE RISE.
I KNOW THAT WE’RE NOT GETTING THIS AT ALL, AND THAT GIVES ME
RAGE. THIS IS A NICE OFFICE!
HAVE A GOOD DAY. #TEARS OF RAGE!
>>NEXT?>>BRING IN THE DELEGATION FROM
MIAMI!>>HOLA MR. BEZOS!
WE ARE FROM THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE FOR THE CITY OF MIAMI,
A DIVERSE GROUP OF PEOPLE ALL LIVING IN HARMONY TOGETHER.
CUBANS. JEWS.
GAYS.>>LIZARDS!
BUGS! BEANS!
COCAINE!>>AND FEATURING PITBULL!
>>UNO, DOS, TRES, QUATRO! ♪ IT IS MIAMI
AND IT IS LOCO IT IS MIAMI ♪
♪ AND IT IS LOCO ♪ ♪
>>YEAH! 2018!
MIAMI! PITBULL!
THIS IS ALL I DO! HA, HA!
>>>TODAY, WE BRING YOU A PINA COLDA AND WE’RE GIVING YOU
PITBULL.>>I’LL BE IN THE LOBBY.
>>THIS IS A TOUGH DECISION, ALEXA, WHO SHOULD I CHOOSE?
>>I DIDN’T HEAR THAT.>>THAT’S OKAY, I LOVE YOU.

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